Notify HR
You do not ask permission. You give notice. This is a federal right. The notice starts the clock on your employer's legal obligations.
When to give notice
If the leave is foreseeable (planned therapy intensive, scheduled inpatient treatment), give 30 days advance notice. If the leave is unforeseeable (crisis, acute episode), give notice as soon as practicable, which usually means the same or next business day.
What to say
Short and factual. You are requesting FMLA leave for a serious health condition. You are eligible. You expect it to be continuous / intermittent. Ask for the WH-380-E form and ask them to confirm in writing that they are treating this as an FMLA request. That confirmation triggers their five-business-day notice obligation.
What not to say
You do not owe HR your diagnosis. You do not owe them your therapy notes. You do not owe them "why" beyond "serious health condition." If they press for specifics, say you would prefer to keep medical details in the provider's certification. Keep every exchange in writing, ideally email.
Do these before moving on
- 1
Use a letter template
Start from a worked example that already says the right things.
- 2
Send the request by email
Copy yourself. If there is a leave portal or third-party administrator (TPA), cc it.
- 3
Save HR's written acknowledgment
If you do not get one within five business days, that is itself an FMLA notice violation.
Ready-to-use letter templates
For survivors of childhood trauma
Do not accept an EAP referral as the answer
Some HR teams will respond to a mental health leave request with "have you tried EAP?" EAP is not FMLA. Accepting an EAP referral does not satisfy your employer's FMLA notice obligation, and short-term EAP counseling is not adequate treatment for complex trauma. Keep your request on the record as FMLA.
Why the EAP trap is dangerous for survivorsIf you have a TPA, limit records to the minimum
Many large employers route FMLA through a third-party administrator (Sedgwick, The Hartford, Lincoln Financial, Unum, Matrix Absence Management). Their default is to request your full medical record. You do not have to provide it. Send only the completed WH-380-E. For survivors, this step is not paperwork. It is the question of whether your therapy file gets opened by a stranger paid to deny claims.
Read: When an employer asks for your mental health records